Finances

The second discussion topic to utilize DDS (Discussion Designed for Solution) is Finances. Financial resources create instability in a marriage when they are handled ineffectively and inconsistently. Having sufficient financial resources is often difficult in the modern marriage. For those blessed with abundant or more than enough money the issue takes on a different perspective. We will approach it only from the "short" side.

#1 - It is always "our" money. The worst possible financial scenario in a marriage is when there is a division between "my" money and "your" money. All resources from a financial perspective must flow in and out of a single operation. Who manages those funds is irrelevant as long as there is agreement about the process.

#2 - It is almost always smart to maintain a written budget. It is not by accident that corporations, large and small, businesses, schools, churches and wise families maintain a budget. Once we know how, when and where money comes into the relationship, and where when, and how money leaves the relationship, we can get a handle on its flow.

#3 - Failing to properly manage financial resources leads to financial disaster and marital discord. Learning to live according to our financial ability creates monetary liquidity and builds harmony in a relationship. Focusing on what others (parents, friends, business partners, etc.) do regarding their assets is always a poor substitute for quality planning and execution.

Answer the following in narrative form:
1) Who handles the financial operation in your home and why?
2) Would more income make a difference in the "attitude" you have about your financial well-being?
3) Have you ever had a personal budget?
4) Have you ever tried budgeting your family income? Why/why not?
5) Do you compare your income and lifestyle to others? (Family, friends, co-workers etc)
6) How much money do you save (long term)? Is it enough?
7) How much money do you have invested for the future? Is it enough?

Key thought - Someone said, "Money is not the most important thing in the world, but it is way ahead of whatever is second." Money problems top the list of concerns for people involved in marriage counseling. Making wise decisions with maximum input is mandatory for success.

Reflections (couple time):
1) Do you acquire money from family members/friends/personal loans?
2) How much money do you really need (per year) to live in the style you desire?
3) What is your personal net worth? (as a couple)