DDS - Discussion Designed for Solution

Often the quickest and most effective method for discovering solutions is to involve those who care about an issue in a designed discussion.

A designed discussion is one that has: 1) a purpose (discovering a solution/solutions 2) a set of rules (see below) and 3) a time limit. The time limit may not allow for reaching a solution or all the possible solutions; however, it does serve to end the discussion at an appropriate time. Discussion can usually be re-started at the will and convenience of the participants.

Rules for DDS
1) Establish a time limit for ending the discussion
2) Limit the participants to those who are likely to be part of the solution
3) Order the initial comments
4) Discuss/consider only items germane to the issue at hand
5) Listen effectively and take notes if appropriate
6) Think creatively
7) NEVER attack an individual personally!
8) NEVER interrupt another's discussion
9) NEVER dominate the discussion
10) Write the solution or possible solutions discovered

The last post (True or False) listed a number of questions to which I would answer "true" to each. They may or may not apply to your circumstance but to the extent they do the question becomes "what do we do about it?" Over the course of the next few postings we're going to utilize these rules for DDS to look into Communication; Finances; Sexual Compatibility; Positive and Negative Attributes. Hopefully, you'll find the answer to "what do we do about it" contained therein. If not, feel free to comment/question. Even if you think none of those true/false questions apply to your situation - LOOK OUT! I can tell you from experience that there have been a couple of times when I was approached with those dreaded (to me) words "we need to talk". I must confess I was dumbfounded simply because I thought everything was ok and was absolutely blind to the effect our circumstances were having on my spouse. Fortunately for me (and us) my spouse somehow instinctively knew these rules and we pretty much utilized each of them except I don't recall writing down our solution (number 10). Perhaps it would be worthwhile to consider approaching your mate to do a "marriage check" just in the case there is something that requires airing but your mate just hasn't worked up the courage to address for fear of creating a problem. If there is an issue then it's likely a problem already exists and it will never go away on it's own. It just gets worse.