Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Marriage Agreements and Disagreements
I was reminded earlier today of a marriage challenge while I was reviewing my Bible Study material in Hebrews Chapter 3. The epistle writer is making the case of Jesus' superiority over all people and over all created things. In this chapter he is demonstrating Jesus' superiority over Moses, knowing that his readers were early Jewish Christians and held Moses in high esteem. Some years ago I assumed a portfolio of 3 properties in Phoenix and travelled there to become familiar with the properties and staffs. I took one of the property managers to lunch and discovered in the course of conversation that she was from Mexico and a Roman Catholic. She was married to a Jewish man and they had two children. When I asked what they taught their children she said "we teach them that Jesus was a great man and Moses was a great man and we should follow their teachings." My sense was that she didn't believe what that statement implied. I'm quite confident she was willing to set aside her beliefs to accommodate the marriage. It's probably safe to say that all marriage partners have different views on certain matters. The question then becomes what areas of differences can a marriage withstand? When there are differences what approach should be used to try to resolve? Let me know your thoughts as well as any questions about an issue you may be having. You can use a pseudonym to become a follower and comment anonymously.
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I agree that all marriage partners have different views on certain matters. Where my marriage can allow for those "differences" are on what I call silly trivial things; such as my dedication to watch/play sports. My wife screams "touchdown" at a basketball game and "slam dunk" when playing golf. She could live the rest of her life just fine if she never saw another sporting event, whereas I love to watch and play sports, often times to her astonishment at the length of time I can do it.
ReplyDeleteWhere we do agree on the issue, is that people can take sports far too seriously and go overboard with their dedication to it, go as far as treating the sport as an idol.
Furthermore, when it comes to parenting, financial, or spiritual issues that we may have differed on - we both go back to the scriptures for guidance. If I am wrong on an issue, I need to be willing to change my approach or my heart on that subject. If there was some gray area that wasn't specifically addressed in the scriptures, then I think as a Christian we need to apply the principles learned throughout the Bible to those gray situations, use discernment, seek Godly council, and prayer for guideance and direction.
Good stuff Jeff and I certainly agree. Perhaps we can categorize these things as choices between "personal preferences" and "convictions". Marriage partners should be able to work around preferences (although I know of many that don't) and focus on convictions. Hopefully, convictions are worked out prior to marriage (like he's a Jew and I'm a Christian). To the extent they are not and need to be dealt with now your thought in your last sentence are great advice. But what if you still have 2 godly people sincerely divided on a subject that scripture doesn't specifically address, both have spent time in prayer etc etc and still come up divided? I would then ask who is the focus? Are we trying to please ourselves, our partner or God? See Jeremiah 32:38-39. Finally, I would defer to how God ordained and designed the marriage relationship and understand headship. See Ephesians 5:22-33. Once that's accomplished the only way marriage partners could still be apart is through hardness of heart which God calls disobedience.
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