Cline/Fay say kids seem most secure around parents who are strong, who don't allow the limits they place on their kids to crumble. Children lose respect for adults who cannot set limits and make them stick. Kids who misbehave without having to face the consequences become brats. For many parents setting limits means issuing commands, and backing up those limits with more commands spiced with sternness and anger. They may get results, but they're setting their kids up for a fight against them.
The difference for love and logic parents is they are always asking questions and offering choices. Consider the following fighting words vs thinking words:
Don't you talk to me in that tone of voice. OR You sound upset. I'll be glad to listen when your voice is as soft as mine is.
You get to work on your studying. OR Feel free to join us for some television when your studying is done.
Be nice to each other. Quit fighting. OR You guys are welcome to come back as soon as you work that out.
I want that lawn cut, now! OR I'll be taking you to your soccer game as soon as the lawn is cut.
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