Responsibility Cannot Be Taught

Parents are forever moaning about their children's inability to absorb parental words of wisdom. They always seem to do the exact opposite of what we tell them. Cline/Fay say that one thing for sure we can't tell kids is "be responsible". It doesn't work. The fact is, responsibility cannot be taught; it must be caught. Although it's hard to figure out at times, the hardest things in the world to learn are the things we are told we must do. To help a child gain responsibility we must offer that child opportunities to be responsible. Cline/Fay encourage parents to find ways to let children encounter SLO's for their irresponsibility rather than focus on their responsibilities. The key is to look for when kids are ready to learn the next level of life's lessons. Don't waste time reminding them or worrying for them. The attitude to adopt is "I'm sure you'll remember on your own but if you don't you'll surely learn something from the experience". Parents who do this help children understand they CAN solve their own problems. They're sympathetic but they don't solve their kids problems for them. Children who grow in responsibility also grow in self-confidence and thus are better able to make it in the world once parental ties are cut. I would also add it is necessary to bathe them daily in prayer and for yourselves also so that God's Spirit can guide parents to recognize these SLO's and the "next level of life's lessons.