Kaboomers vs Are You Hurts

Cline/Fay say many parents confuse love, protection and caring. Some may refuse to allow their children to fail because they see such a response as uncaring. Thus, they overcompensate with worry and hyper-concern. Protection is not synonymous with caring but both are a part of love. God allows us to put ourselves in jeopardy yet still cares about and loves us without being overly protective. At birth, of course, responsible parents must respond to their infant with total protectiveness. However, as children grow - beginning at about 9 months with very simple choices - the parents must make a gentle, gradual transition to allowing their children the privilege of solving their own problems. By the time children are eleven or twelve, they should be able to make most decisions without parental input. Parental love and attitude determine how almost all children will handle almost all problems through early adolescence. A group of children on an ice rink or playground will inevitably have children who fall. The parents are usually divided into those who say "kaboom" and those who say "are you hurt". The "hurts" kids will say "yeah, come to think of it, I am hurt". The "kaboom" kids will pick themselves up, dust themselves off and go on playing. The "hurts" learn that a fall is painful. The "kabooms" learn from their mistakes and focus on the original objective. The problem is rescuing parents often rescue out of their own needs. They like to heal hurts. They need to be needed. When kids reach high school and love has been shown largely by protection they may be irreparably damaged. At the very least, these kids won't be much fun for their future spouse. Love kids enough to allow them to fail. Stand back and allow SLO's build your kids.