She talks a lot, he listens a little

that's the title of an article in today's WSJ. While admitting that some men are talkers and some women are not the assertion is that most men are not talkers and most women are. I agree, based on my experience and observation. What troubles me is the list of tips given: set aside a time to talk; if you're the talker slow down; ask questions; let the talker talk; really listen; ask for a break; use technology (texting) as a supplement, not a substitute; call someone else. For a guy these all fall under the heading of "we need to talk" or "we need to set aside a time to talk". Dreaded words. Painful words. To borrow a great line from the movie Steel Magnolia's "I'd rather eat dirt!" The problem with all of these is they are wordly ideas. The world only understands the soulish "self" meaning I get what I want/need. To accomodate another person and their point of view and needs requires me to set aside what I want. That may work for a time but will not last, will be painful and produce lasting resentment. Not good for a healthy relationship. These usually deteriorate into a quid pro quo whereby I will agree to a talk in return for a _______ (fill in the blank - golf outing, sex etc). That's a business relationship not a marriage. The solution only comes from the Designer of Marriage. He says a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. Gen 2:24. This new creation is a spiritual entity in which the self or soul is subject to the workings of the spirit being filled daily by His Spirit. Eph 5:18. When marriage partners are of one spirit they have the same desires, goals, agendas - to llove and serve the Father. When this happens there's not much else to talk about!