Marriage Question

How many times does the Bible teach that a woman should love her husband? Where does it say this? Anything significant about this?

Marriage is...Part 2 follow up

Be reminded: Marriage is God's thing. When we are not what we are supposed to be and when we do not build our marriage on the principles established in God's Word, it is unlikely that it will last; and even if two people continue together, they will never know the incredible joy and happiness of becoming the one flesh God designed. The Scripture is clear that "God IS llove" (1 John 4:8; 1 John 4:16). No matter what we believer, it is not possible to llove without knowing God and living according to His principles. It is not possible to have a Designer Marriage without following the directions of the Designer. It is incredibly difficult to sustain a marriage relationship that lacks the most basic ingredient: llove.

Marriage is....Part 2

The last post talked about sin-altered roles but before we can understand it's effect we first must understand sin. Whenever sin is a part of our experience, whether it is part of our individual or collective relationship, we are going to fall short of discovering and knowing the fullness of God's design for life. Sin blinds us to His will and purpose. Sin inhibits right thinking and action. Sin damages and ultimately destroys our ability to live as designed. Marriages that embrace sin, knowingly or ignorantly, can never move fully and adequately toward the design of man and woman joined together becoming one flesh.

Define the following:
1) Adultery
2) Extra-marital relationships (not necessarily overtly sexual in nature)
3) Homosexuality/Bi-sexuality/Transvestitism
4) Androgyny
5) Visual promiscuity (pornography)
6) Modern feminism/male chauvinism
7) Other sins that may cause marital destruction

Read 1 John 4: 8 & 16 and then reflect on the following:
1) Can two atheists/agnostics have a perfect marriage?
2) Can you be out of God's will for your life and have a perfect marriage?
3) What is marriage?
4) What is God's design for marriage?
5) Do you see your spouse as part of God's design for your marriage and does your spouse see you that way?
6) As a couple, do you share equally in the relationship?
7) Is there sin in your marriage that is preventing the actualization of God's design for your life?

Marriage is.....first, answers

God blessed both Adam and Eve and intended that they both rule with Eve as Adam's helper. Neither were inferior to each other as Adam recognized that Eve was a part of him. Their relationship was one of oneness - pure and perfect as the Designer planned in their respective roles. That is, to do and be that for which they were created. Sin damaged the relationship as God changed their duties and roles as punishment. If I (and you) are open to the fact that my (your) marriage can be perfect it necessarily follows that I/you have to contend with these sin-altered duties and roles. Read Genesis 3:16-19. How does this altered relationship manifest itself in the activities of today's world? Your response is key to our next session!

Marriage is.....

not about finding the "right man" or "right woman". It's about being the right man/woman in the relationship. Marriage is designed to be perfect. Everything God creates works perfectly. When marriage is lived out under the guidelines established by the Father, nothing can go wrong. However, the opposite is also true. Divorce is an expected result when we fail to abide by the rules. To assume that marriage is flawed by anything other than our unwillingness to operate it according to His plan is to assign to the Creator a less than perfect creation. That is blasphemy. Accordingly, we must return to the Scripture, God's guidebook and operations manual for Designer Marriage. Read the account of the Creation of man and woman in Genesis 1:27-28; Genesis 2:18-23; Genesis 2:7 and answer and/or comment on the following questions:

1) Whom did God bless?
2) Whom did God intend to rule?
3) Whom did God assign the inferior role?
4) What did Adam recognize about his companion?
5) What would define their original relationship?
6) What is meant by the term "respective roles"?
7) Describe what you believe damaged the relationship between Adam and Eve?
8) Are you open to the fact that your marriage can be perfect and that you are, already, "right" for each other?

She talks a lot, he listens a little

that's the title of an article in today's WSJ. While admitting that some men are talkers and some women are not the assertion is that most men are not talkers and most women are. I agree, based on my experience and observation. What troubles me is the list of tips given: set aside a time to talk; if you're the talker slow down; ask questions; let the talker talk; really listen; ask for a break; use technology (texting) as a supplement, not a substitute; call someone else. For a guy these all fall under the heading of "we need to talk" or "we need to set aside a time to talk". Dreaded words. Painful words. To borrow a great line from the movie Steel Magnolia's "I'd rather eat dirt!" The problem with all of these is they are wordly ideas. The world only understands the soulish "self" meaning I get what I want/need. To accomodate another person and their point of view and needs requires me to set aside what I want. That may work for a time but will not last, will be painful and produce lasting resentment. Not good for a healthy relationship. These usually deteriorate into a quid pro quo whereby I will agree to a talk in return for a _______ (fill in the blank - golf outing, sex etc). That's a business relationship not a marriage. The solution only comes from the Designer of Marriage. He says a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. Gen 2:24. This new creation is a spiritual entity in which the self or soul is subject to the workings of the spirit being filled daily by His Spirit. Eph 5:18. When marriage partners are of one spirit they have the same desires, goals, agendas - to llove and serve the Father. When this happens there's not much else to talk about!

Marriage as the Designer planned?

some time ago I heard that the divorce rate in our country was highest among evangelical Christians than any other group - including unbelievers. I don't know if that's true or not but I doubt anyone will argue with the fact that divorce is as large a problem among church folk as anyone. Dr. Weaver in his seminar "Designer Marriage" has stated "God has no design for marriage failure. His plan for taking two totally separate individuals and creating out of their bond one complete individual is a marvel of His work and power. Attempting to perform the same action without His miracle - working perfection, leads only to discouragement, despair and dissolution (usually in that order)." Question(s) - do you believe this to be true? Why? If so, why do so many of His folk fail at it? (beyond the obvious answer of disobedience). Among all the challenges every marriage faces, what is the one area that could, if left unaddressed, blow up and doom your marriage?